letting go

What an awful feeling when we think we have let someone down. Then they are gone...how can we do our the patch up work with the dead?
I too have had a close mind. I am being tested for ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer has a small survival rate. 20% even after all the chemo and surgery. No guarantees. So diet, exercise ect will give me an extra edge.

Do you know I can't find one ovarian support group in town. Their just mostly breast. Most ovarians don't survive even with the best tx. Because it goes to you colon next and so on.It was a blessing to see in CSC to ovarian canser beaters.

I saw what chemo has done to other family members. Not pretty. Canser tx can leave you with PTSD. A second and third round would be hard to do. Emotionally, physically or spiritually.
Also, sometimes white coats give no hope, So what is a person with canser to do to feel a little power: diet exercise, vitamins, boosting the immune system is all we may have. It gives us hope, control and sense of powerful;over a somewhat powerless foe. I truly hurt for you. Hope you can find a way to make peace with yourself. Your friend I know is in a better place. Like my cousin Stevie who died of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma after he refused a second dose of chemo. I tried to save him. Puny me. try to save him. He had made his decision and had peace with it. I supported him, I supported him in something I knew was wrong..now my mind is opening up to new options.